One area that no one ever talks about outside of a supervision relationship is the reality that much of our work in the recovery fields is uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to sit in silence in a group that isn’t particularly chatty; it’s uncomfortable to ask your client if he/she/they have relapsed while residing in the facility you work; it’s uncomfortable to draw attention to ambivalence or discrepancy; to say no when asked to cover an extra shift; to disagree on a client care issue… Why don’t we talk about this? There are a couple different answers to this:
1. Stigma
An easy answer to this question is stigma. Professionals in the human services have long worked to hold together this picture that we are great all the time. In many organizations, seeking therapy is still a topic that is “hush-hush.” This practice of appearances began as a fear of consequences on-the-job if it was known an individual was anything but comfortable and has in some ways evolved to a fear of others questioning the competency of the individual who is uncomfortable. Some of this is self-stigma (our own worries and perceptions about how comfortability will be perceived), some of this is interpersonal (our worries and perceptions coming to light in attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors or co-workers when uncomfortability is shared), and some of this is systemic (organizational practices that contribute to/establish attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors when uncomfortability is shared). The results of these forms of stigma can be devasting. If professionals do not work through uncomfortable situations due to stigma, unhealthy behaviors of clients and co-workers can continue and sometimes escalate (safety concerns) and professional and therapeutic relationships are weakened and therefore less effective (poorer quality care) (Knaak, Mantler & Szeto, 2017).
2. Skills-Barriers
A client recently defined the word “skill” to me as “something that is built to help you.” Notice how he did not define the word “skill” as something that is “obtained” or “learned.” Professional skills are tools that require intentional practice, revision, and improvement throughout a career. When we are hired as human services professionals in any organization, is one of the onboarding trainings “navigating uncomfortable situations?” It’s not labeled so directly, but many organizations (including Thrive Behavioral Network) do have some attention to uncomfortable situations (examples include policies regarding professional boundaries, addressing crisis situations, etc.). This is a great introduction to building skills in uncomfortable situations. These policies provide direction of how to diffuse a situation and/or where to go for assistance in further navigating these situations. How do we work to further develop comfortability in the uncomfortable situations outside of the bounds of these policies? We must adopt a relationship with change (Rosen, 2019).
What can we do to reduce this stigma and develop skills to navigate uncomfortable situations?
Be mindful about attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors in response to uncomfortable situations. Are your responses to uncomfortable situations acting as a barrier for yourself or others?
Seek out the support of others and support others. There’s no rule that says you are totally alone in an uncomfortable situation. Use your team to navigate these situations.
Practice, practice, practice. Skills are developed over time. The more practice, the less power the situation has over you also.
Be kind to yourself. It’s absolutely okay to be uncomfortable.
References
Knaak, S., Mantler, E., & Szeto, A. (2017). Mental illness-related stigma in healthcare: Barriers to access and care and evidence-based solutions. Healthcare management forum, 30(2), 111–116. https://doi.org/10.1177/0840470416679413
Rosen, Bob. “How to get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable?” Psychology Today. April 9 2019.